Although this has not become yet a major issue in dancesport, trophies are not what they used to be. If awards, trophies or diplomas are handed out like candy, a true formal recognition of hard-workers isn’t available anymore. The real world is not full of winners. In sports, beginners might not start with having self-confidence so participation awards are being handed to comfort them. This can send a very dangerous message to young people who can fool themselves into believing that they actually deserved the recognition and that they are way better than they really are. What does giving a trophy to everyone mean? It means “lowering expectations”.
Where it all began…
The movement behind this mentality started in the 70’s but gained momentum in the 80’s. Giving trophies to every participant had the main goal to build self-esteem and was a promise of turning your kids into more successful and confident version of themselves. Some worrisome parents might have been at the other end of this celebration of mediocrity, with the best of intentions, of course. Nevertheless, it does come down eventually to asking ourselves “Do you want your kid to learn how life really goes or do you want to fabricate a reward for something that he doesn’t deserve, which ruins the whole purpose of turning your kid into a potentially successful adult?”. Yes, you are brave for trying, but is it enough?
Top 3 consequences of the “everyone is a winner” mentality
1. The lack of motivation and ambition
The mentality of everyone is a winner is inherently wrong and cancels the idea of hard work, success, and achievement which are 3 key ingredients of fulfillment. In dancesport, hard work and talent make things happen. So why would people skip the necessary steps to achieve something that has no genuine value? If the journey towards a diploma or trophy is lean and they’re no bumps in the road, the climax of your winning narrative is not longer there. If everyone gets a trophy three things happen:
True winners feel unappreciated and they don’t find themselves in a true growth and competitive environment;
Some people feel entitled and expect results without putting in any additional efforts;
The people who get the last place in competitions and still receive a trophy or a diploma feel even worse because they know they don’t deserve it and it’s just a formality.
For example, let’s look at the way our mind and body reacts when we’re eating fast-food opposed to when we’re eating a home cooked meal. Quite different, isn’t it? That sugar high you’re experiencing while you’re shoving down the throat fast food is similar to the instant gratification of an undeserved title or prize. The main issue here is that you get hooked on it and your mind will be asking for more and more, and more and you’ll probably give in and find excuses – “Just this time, then I’m going to eat healthy the rest of the week!”. What happens next? Well, you’ll probably feel depressed the rest of the week and blame yourself for having fallen into temptation and not only that, but you will also feel more tired, irritable, and less energetic.
On the other hand, a home cooked meal involves an extensive process: making a list, buying all the ingredients, actually preparing the meal, setting the table. More effort but more enjoyable in the end. After you finish it, you will not feel overly stimulated and you will probably not experience severe behavioral reactions. Actually, more than likely you will concentrate better and remember more. In other words, these are building blocks of the learning process, just as the failure and trials a dancer has to go through to learn. It is your choice if you’re going to choose short-term over long-term thinking.
2. A generation of know-it-alls
Millennials, their successors – Generation Z, or younger generations, feel more entitled because of that mentality. It’s not entirely their fault, it’s something that has been generated by parents who were overprotective of their children but it has to change, otherwise, kids will grow up not being able to sustain themselves emotionally. Anxiety and depression are one of the consequences children face after leaving this fabricated, fake world, where every attempt is rewarded and everyone gives you a pat on the shoulder and stepping out into the real harsh world where wins come at a high price and usually after a long period of time. The mentality of a true winner has to be trial and error, you cannot improve and advance if you do not have failures that can teach you lessons.
3. The expectation of instant gratification
Instant gratification fails to instill any resilience in kids. If you are going after immediate results that can satisfy your need for fishing compliments, you’re not going to build any emotional resilience or strength that can help you in life in the long run. If you want to raise a kid that will become a responsible adult and that will not crash at the first heartbreak or letdown in life, you have to make sure he/she realizes that pain is a part of everyone’s life and hardships can boost you and be a trigger for success if you put the work in it.
What is the importance of having real winners in dancesport?
Facing the pain and striving for excellence, that’s one of the most important character traits that you can develop as a dancer and that’ will not be developed if you keep telling yourself that you’re a winner when you’re only on the 29th place locally.
It rewards hard work
If you a have a winner, you also have a loser, and that’s ok because you can finally paint a true picture of the level you are at and what your accomplishments are up to that point. Failure is a feedback that can be transformed into a chance to become a better dancer and a better person. You can only control the efforts, not the outcome. If you got bad results, analyze the outcome and find the right solutions to fix the situation. Today’s winners are yesterday’s losers, they are the people that made something out of their defeats and took a turn for the better. A great dancer accepts reality, adapts to it and improves on it one step at a time. Dancesport rewards hard work. It’s a competitive sport and thrives on a competitive spirit.
It helps set positive examples
Quite honestly, what’s wrong with someone better than you? Seeing other dancers succeed and actually deserve the win motivates others to push themselves further. Look at Daniella Karagach – she is the youngest US competitor to hold the Ten Dance Championship title. Who wouldn’t look up to her? Real winners, people that spend their life practicing, investing time and money have to be admired properly. If everyone wins than the relevance and the value of the real winner diminishes and fades away.
It reestablishes the importance of the mighty trophy
Nowadays, trophies are collecting dust, or are forgotten in boxes when moving houses. Nothing special about them since probably a lot of kids got them as well. Why should receiving a trophy be a big deal? A trophy is a striking symbol of excellence, it means you reached the highest peak and is a durable reminder of your achievements. The ceremony of handing a trophy or grand prize to the winner should be marked in a special way. In some specific situations, though not always, tradition dictates that a single trophy cup be passed from the previous winner to the next. A trophy or diploma is a token of victory and a recognition for hard work and it should be held in high regard.
The healthy way to boost self-esteem is to put yourself out there, invest effort, time and money and then make sure you are ready to either lose or win. That effort-failure-feedback – effort-win-feedback-effort loop needs to happen because if it doesn’t, then it’s just too hard to realize what you’re doing wrong and what you’re doing right and you’re just spinning like a hamster on the wheel because you’re not getting ahead. Failure, followed by later success, is what builds character, fortitude, courage, and tenacity.
copyright@ Elena Anashina
source: you may read complete article at https://dancesportlife.com/blog/a-tough-pill-to-swallow-not-everyones-a-winner/
The Fifth World Title for Zharkov & Kulikova: Continue to Reign
Dmitry Zharkov – Olga Kulikova (RUS) continued to reign convincingly in Leipzig on Saturday. Again they broke all records, as the 2019 WDSF PD World Championship Standard marked them the fifth World title in five years, and the first one in WDSF Professional Division. The outstanding scores over 39.2 points in each dance were awarded to the couple, and the last dance, Quickstep, earned them close to the perfect scores, 39.6 out of maximum 40.
The same trio took over the podium as in the European Championship a week ago. Nikolay Darin – Natalia Seredina (MDA) won the silver medals and Andrey Motyl – Ekaterina Kim (RUS) won the bronze medals. The ambiance both in the spectator stands and on the dance floor kept growing towards the end, and by the look of scores Quickstep turned out to be the best dance for all couples in top three.
Zhao Peng – Wang Qi (CHN) ranked fourth, Eros Sciamanna – Anna Angelika Jaglinska (POL) ranked fifth, and Alessandro Ilarioni – Aurora Sbardella (ITA) ranked sixth.
In Kyiv (UKR), the 2019 WDSF World Championship Youth Ten Dance gave us a glimpse of how another page on the history book is in the making. Vladislav Untu – Polina Baryshnikova (MDA) have won all the three European Youth titles (Standard, Latin, Ten Dance) this year and the couple continued their strong year by winning the World Championship Youth Ten Dance title aswell. With two more World title events to go, the couple is going strongly towards the historical six out of six titles in 2019.
German Pugachev – Ariadna Tishova (RUS) won the silver medals and Karolis Burneikis – Izabele Sekaite (LTU) won the bronze.
In non-title events, the two WDSF World Open Latin winners of the week were Edgar Marcos Borjas – Alina Nowak (POL) in Amsterdam-Almere (NED) and Alexandru Miculescu Ionut – Andra Pacurar (ROU) in Kyiv (UKR). The WDSF World Open Standard winners were Madis Abel – Aleksandra Galkina (EST) in Amsterdam-Almere and Marco Sirocchi – Kilin Dora (ROU) in Kyiv.
The two WDSF International Open Latin winners of the week were Lars Olav Eltervaag – Paraskevi Zygouri (NOR) in Trencin (SVK), and Konstantin Gorodilov – Dominika Bergmannova (EST) in Prienai (LTU). The WDSF International Open Standard winners were Evaldas Sodeika – Ieva Zukauskaite (LTU) in Prienai and Matej Stec – Elena Popova (SVK) in Trencin.
Congratulations to all the winners and finalists, also of the WDSF Open competitions! It is again the start of a GrandSlam week, and this year the World Championship Ten Dance is included in the programme in Moscow (RUS). World Cups in Rock’n’Roll and Boogie Woogie are also taking place on Saturday, which means it will be another busy week in DanceSport!
Original article that you can read in:
THE TRAINER OF YOUR DREAMS
The choice of a coach for a dancer is one of the most important issues. A lot of articles on the subject have already been written, you can also find a lot of material in magazines, digital media, dance forums.
Some say that the coach should also be a professional dancer and that the rest is secondary. Others think that the most important thing is the talent of pedagogue, which does not have anyone.
Ilya Danilov (Latin)
Everyone exposes their point of view. But that does not help to have more promising couples or more champions. And we are in a vicious circle …
Speaking of the work of the coach, we think first of all of his ability to present the information correctly, make it reach the recipient and control the result.
The more details and details explained by the coach, the better. However, observing «from within» the work of most of the coaches I want to say that 80% of them or more lack an extremely important and even essential capacity from my point of view, which is the ability to motivate their students .
Yes, in today’s world there is a lot of information about what motivation is. On the internet we can find many workshops from different organizations on «How to motivate employees correctly» / «5 steps to successful motivation», etc.
So why is this topic almost untreated in the world of sports dancing? Why do not they talk about it in professional seminars or conferences? Coaches are limited to two-three sentences about the need to encourage students.
Mauricio Vescovo (Latin)
Is it that we ourselves, the people involved in the world of sports dancing, are simply not interested in the success and development of that sport?
I have observed the work of many coaches of all levels and couples with whom they work. And I can say with certainty that none of them had the idea of approaching the learning process from another point, that is, SIMPLY UNDERSTAND THE MOTIVATION of the people they teach.
It is not a secret that each of us is unique, and we need different treatment.
Fabio Selmi (Standard)
So why those professors who proclaim to the four winds that they are very talented pedagogues, who aspire to create champions, why do not they apply such effective methods in their work? This question obviously remains rhetorical at the moment.
Being a coach and working with different types of people in matters of the construction of their professional career, of personal effectiveness, the achievement of life goals, I mean that a person, when he is aware of his objectives, and only for that reason, motivates to reach them.
And the coach only has one easy task in that sense – which is to constantly maintain those goals in his students. What are the teacher’s ways to achieve it?
The answer is surprisingly easy – we must preserve in the person the assurance that he is progressing well towards his goal (even if it is slower than the coach would like).
Dirk Heidemann (Latin)
It is also very important to assess the positive achievements of the student, their successes, and fix their attention on it. But of course, this refers to the people for whom achieving success and the coach’s attention are motivating factors.
Hence, any coach who takes his work seriously and wants to achieve success, must be interested in addressing the question of motivation in the right way. (On the types of motivation and ways of motivating, he had written the article called «Motivation in the world of dance: how to create a champion»).
Based on my own experience, I can safely say that positive motivation, ie a detailed evaluation of all the intermediate results, and the emphasis on the achievements on the way to the goal, are motivating factors for more than 90% of dancers. Even for those who do not like to be praised.
Siscu Pérez (Latin)
I will tell you about my observations, giving as an example two situations, the evaluation of the work of two high level coaches.
Ivan (not his real name – aut.) Trains a couple of initial level, both dancers are already adults, have finished their university careers and recently began in the world of dance.
The girl had previously taken individual classes with another teacher and for several motives decided to try another coach, higher level. In the first class the new teacher asks what he wants to get from his classes. You will agree with me that it is a good question and you can see that the coach is really a professional.
And the girl lets go of what she really thinks: «I want to be the champion of Russia.»
Karina Rubio (Latin)
And the girl lets go of what she really thinks: «I want to be the champion of Russia.»
Do you think he is too ambitious? Sure, some might laugh and say it’s impossible. I will not argue, there may be some reason for that. But I want to talk about something else. The coach’s reaction was to shut up and start with the steps and the explanation of figures.
This detail at first glance could be overlooked and forgotten. But if we think about the situation well, what did the professor do? He showed his student that he does not believe in the real possibility of fulfilling his dream, and in that way the demotiva to see him as a real coach and may even have taken away the desire to grow in his dance.
Alexey Silde (Latin)
Of course it is not a fact that that girl can be Russian champion, although who knows. Because it is also said that «by the laws of physics bees can not fly. But they do not know it and that’s why they fly. »
Observing the work of that coach later on (over several classes) my suspicions became certainties: he did not do any form of evaluation of the results of his students, he did not communicate his results, his changes in the dance.
Viktor Nikovski (Latin)
As expected, the students soon stopped taking classes with that teacher, perhaps without realizing the reason for their own dissatisfaction.
I wonder how a coach can create a successful partner without believing himself in his future. And if we examine that situation even in more detail we will see that first of all the coach does not believe in his own success as a teacher.
Pietro Braga (Standard)
The skeptics will surely not agree with me and say that you can not build a sandcastle and believe in the success of people who almost certainly can not achieve good results.
Well, I do not agree with that. Read stories of the lives and careers of people who really reached unthinkable peaks in their fields. Most of them were told at some point that it would be impossible. But they ignored, BELIEVED IN THEMSELVES AND IN SUCCESS, they just kept doing what they did approaching their goal.
To finish I’ll tell you another example. A couple, also adult people, have been training with a teacher for about a year. Their results are rather regular. I went to his classes and what did I see?
That the teacher himself, without a doubt a dancer of a very-very high level, moved around the track in an enviable way. But throughout the whole class (and they were more than one) he did not once say anything positive to any of the dancers. However I write down all your mistakes and failures, putting a lot of emphasis on those negative details.
Lasse Odegaard (Standard)
Of course, already for half of the class, the faces of the boys no longer reflected any desire to move forward, develop and grow. Of course the teacher explained exquisitely the technique of hip movement in rumba bolero, the dissociation of the torso, but for some reason the work was slow and tense.
Surely then the teacher did not know, and will still not know, that motivating his students well for the execution of the dance, you can «turn on» the natural movement of the body so that it moves to the beat of the music, just as it should be done. according to all the technical standards of the execution of the Rumba bolero dance steps.
Alexander Melnikov (Standard)
Because the inhabitants of the country where that lyrical dance was born, when dancing it, surely they did not think of someone who was next to them with a stick and criticizing their steps, but simply moved according to the indications of their souls, trying to express their feelings …
Because they did have His Majesty’s Motivation – to like your partner, to have dozens of other people choose him.
COMPETITION – HOW TO FACE THE PSYCHOLOGICAL STATE?
Usually in October the biggest tournament organized in Russia take place. That event has helped to choose the theme for this article. Crowd of spectators, a large number of participants, a demanding graphic of the competition, all this has created the atmosphere of a very important competition and great responsibility.
With this, from the professional point of view attracted a special attention the way in which the dancers, both small and old, prepare to enter the track. The topic of preparation for the competition is very broad, so in today’s article only part of the topic will be discussed. That in which recommendations will be given to encourage and support the athletes depending on their mood before the tournament or between rounds.
In the tournaments we can see tears of young dancers, apathy, nervous tremors that prevent concentrating and dancing, aggressiveness towards everyone else, paralyzing fear and even hysteria.
The reaction of most parents, partners and coaches is one: stop, be an athlete, concentrate, etc. That strategy in most of the time does not lead anywhere. The task is to adequately assess the state of mind and depending on this provide the necessary support.
Aggression or agressivity can be caused by several causes – by the character of the dancer, by its defense mechanism, etc. The important thing is not to look for the reason (this can be left to us, the psychologists), but to choose the appropriate way to react. First of all, you must avoid the accumulation of people. You have to let the dancer «let go of the rage». Saying everything that goes through your mind, dancing a tango or a double step is also a good option. Try to show good intentions. It is not worth entering into discussions with accusations and criticism, even if you do not agree. A good solution is to describe the emotions and try to relax the environment. For example – «you are angry, you feel anger, you feel like releasing everything you think or destroying everything around. We will try to find a solution. » Aggression can also be stifled by the threat of punishment.
Apathy is a state of indifference in which all interests, emotional reactions, are reduced or lost. It translates into inappetence, indifference towards oneself and others, towards what happens around, in a lack of interest and desire. In two words, it is a lack of emotion. The most likely is that you see that state long before the tournament, and during it will reach its peak. How can you help? It is best not to leave that person alone. Take her to a quiet place, help her get comfortable, take off her shoes. It is advisable that you can sleep a little. In the event that there is no possibility of resting, take him by the hand, speak, ask something to which he has to answer in detail, involve him in a joint activity, be close in the breaks between the dances. Pay attention to your breathing: you have to breathe with passive inspiration and active expiration.
Crying is a normal state, which is seen very often, but can considerably lower the level of dance performance. It is important to be next to that person, you can hold her hand, pat her head or pat her on the shoulder. He has to avoid the desire to reassure the deportee. In that situation it is better to listen to him, to give him the opportunity to speak. And while, agree with the head, show understanding, you can repeat some of their sentences. You can give advice or ask questions only if they ask you. Remember that crying makes worries more bearable.
Fear is an inner state that is caused by a future misfortune, real or imagined. We are all afraid The difference is that some know how to control it and others succumb to it. I will tell you more about the fears of the dancers in one of the following articles. From the point of view of the help to mitigate the effect of fear, I can highlight the following: put the dancer’s hands on your wrists, feel your pulse calm. Pay attention to the athlete’s breathing – it is important that you take the calm and regular rhythm. It would be nice to massage his tense muscles. With all your attitude you must show your understanding and the desire to hear and help him. To control your own fear, you have to normalize your breathing – inspire and expire deeply and then return to normal rhythm.
Psychological tremor from a psychological point of view can be a reflection of different states. The tremor is shown in different degrees in various parts of the body: in the hands, feet, fingers, etc. The first thing that most people want to do in that situation is to hug that person, but just that it must be avoided. The most effective is to make the tremor stronger so that it happens sooner. If you yourself set the tremor, you must also intensify it. The tremor will pass and you will be able to enter the track completely prepared.
Hysteria reflects an uncontrollable external emotional state, which is accompanied by crying, nervous tremors, laughter, etc. Hysteria in an athlete can be a reaction to failure, a symptom of fear, or a desire to draw attention to their concerns, etc. Hysteria belongs to the group of states that most negatively affects the result. What are the psychological recommendations in those cases? A quiet place, relaxed atmosphere, that is to say that it is important to «eliminate the spectators» in order not to provoke the increase of that state. And do not give in to the wishes of the affected person. Speak to him in a firm way, with short, imperative phrases, such as «wash your face», «drink a little water», etc. Or change the focus of your attention with an unexpected action – drop something, splash it with water, yell something suddenly and things like that.
If you often find yourself with those moods in yourselves as dancers or in your son in the tournaments, I recommend that you consult a psychologist to find ways to help and solve that problem.
Only you yourselves direct your state,